Tuesday, 1 January 2013

New Year, New Me

The last 24 hours have been quite weird. Just yesterday morning I was moaning how shit I am at generally all form of exercise whether it be cardio or strength based training, however, I then took myself off to the gym as it was strength training day and all of this completely changed. I knew it would be tough over the Christmas period, so many temptations and excuses to find not to train, but that wasn't the issue, and I couldn't work out what it was. It's not unusual for me to start having these odd moments, usually when it gets towards the end of the month I know I need a PT session because I start doubting myself and the training that I am doing, thinking I'm not running fast enough, not lifting heavy enough and a particular hate of mine, training in the gym on my own, and not knowing enough about training to know what is good for me and what isn't.

When I got to the gym it was quite busy, which I wasn't expecting. I had remembered my iPod (brain like a sieve!) so I wanted to take up the opportunity to get on the treadmill and get further than the 2km at 10kph that I ran Saturday. I did, 3km in 17:58, so I was pleased with that. The strength session went well, the "weight nickers" were in force again but I managed to get the weights that I needed and a good space to do what I needed to do, the aches in my glutes and shoulders today are proof that I must have worked hard! There was a near miss where I thought I was going to throw up after my 5th set of squats but this soon wore off, either that or I just sucked it up and got on with it. I finished it off with a bit of core work then intervals on the rower. I really felt that I had worked when I came out of the gym, and worked out what the issue was, for the first time in ages I felt like I was getting THOSE looks in the gym, the ones that makes you feel that you don't belong. When I feel like this, the first thing I think is that it's because I'm fat. I need to remember that I'm being totally paranoid, I doubt anyone even noticed I was in there, let alone found the time to wonder why I was there! Plus I would like to think that what they are actually thinking is "fair play, she is working hard and doing something about it."

I got home from the gym and felt good, I had a bath, got into my pyjamas and made tea, planning an early night and a run in the morning. During the evening twitter seemed to be going completely mental and I was getting loads of messages of support and new followers from my post from Sunday, this certainly helped my New Years Eve in alone with no alcohol, instead I was high on pride from some of the messages that I was getting from people that I didn't even know telling little (well big) old me that I was inspiring them to either start their own journey or continue with theirs. An amazing feeling.

I got up this morning and took myself out for a short run, 2 miles in 20:38, this was really tough as the cold weather really took my breath away, and not being a fast runner I was really wheezing when I got back home, but the run was done so I had the rest of the day to myself. Before I went I took a quick photo of myself to compare to a photo of myself from London Marathon which I posted in my last post, when I got back I compared the two and it stumped me. I had to sit down and look again, was this really me? Had I really done this? All year when I was moaning that I couldn't see a difference it was creeping up on me, don't get me wrong I knew that I was losing but not to the extent of what I saw today:

I have to admit to having a few tears (OK a lot) seeing this and an immense amount of pride at what I had achieved. This is the first time in a long time that I have felt properly proud of myself and again the response on Twitter and Facebook has been overwhelming. New Years Day is traditionally pyjama day for me so after my run I have spent the day sorting out my diary, planning my meals and training for the rest of the week and creating an Inspiration Board:

So I guess now I will be taking a new found confidence into 2013, and with this new attitude I feel ready!


  1. I can relate to so much of this post. It's often difficult to see changes in yourself, especially when you're working so hard to achieve them. Looking back at old photos is one of the best ways I've found. You are doing so well and have made some amazing changes and the results are clearly visible. With the determination you're showing I'm sure you'll reach your goals in 2013. Happy New Year!

  2. Well done Laura!! What a lovely optimistic post to start the New Year. See you soon at RR.


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I'm a fatty trying to get to be a thinny!