Back to the drawing board, again

So today was the day, I was racing in a local 5k race andsub30 was the goal. I had been preparing for this race for some time, and itwould be a perfect opportunity to get that sub30, as the race was held at anairfield, so it was perfectly flat, and as luck would have it, perfect runningweather. So, all was set up for that PB, all I had to do was run like my lifedepended on it! This would set me up perfectly for a sub60 in next year’sRegency 10k.

On Thursday night I ran with Regency Runners in their 5ktime trial, and came in 30:46, so I felt reasonably confident that I would beable to shave off at least a minute to get that elusive sub30. My problem isthat every race I have ever competed in, for one reason or another, I havesomehow managed to fuck it up, why I thought today would be any different Idon't know, but I managed to fuck it up massively.

I have never been too bothered about time, getting out thereand running was always my primary goal, but since London Marathon I realisedthat if I want to call myself a proper runner, then I need to concentrate on myfitness and get faster, hence the hours in the gym. The main reason for this iswhen I ran London Marathon, I was close to two stone heavier than I am now, soI associate me running London Marathon with Extra Fat Laura, something that Iam working hard to move away from. I don’t want to be known as the fat girlthat finished London Marathon, I want to be known as the girl that changed theperson who she was and became a proper runner, make more sense now? 

I don't quite know what went wrong today; I tried so hard,maybe too hard to run a good race. I struggled to keep up with my runningfriends so decided to keep focused on me and run my own race rather than runtoo fast for the first half and then struggle to finish. As it turns outwhatever race plan I had didn't work out and theirs did, all my running matesgot that elusive sub30, yet I came in at 32:14, not even close, there is noexcuse for that. I've never felt so crushed, as no matter how hard I had triedto run faster, it just wasn't happening, I had given it everything I had, andthe result was beyond shit. 

So now I have to look at where I go from here, my initialfeeling is to just stop, as with a time like that running obviously isn’t mything, but I know that feeling is only temporary, and is stemming from a)feeling incredibly embarrassed, and b) being really really angry with myselffor fucking it up again. I could get up tomorrow and take myself out for a 5krun and given it another go, maybe it just wasn’t right on the day, but then ifI run tomorrow and don’t do it, it will confirm that I am in fact shit and willgive me more reason to quit.

Weigh-in

Well this week was the dreaded monthly weigh in. Again I had been confident up until Saturday, where it all went wrong just two days before I was due to step on the scales. I'm not saying being ill is an excuse to eat rubbish, but it was the reason that I did it. I'll come back to that later.
I weighed myself on my own scales Monday morning and as I expected after the weekends antics I had gained a little weight, but I wasn't worried, as that had been my only slip up since my last weigh in, and after all it was only a few slices of bread and a bag of crisps!

So I arrived at Peak Fitness for the moment of truth, and stepped on the scales. My last weigh in was a bit of a disaster, with a big drop in weight but most of it being muscle, and a 4% gain in body fat. The results today were great, only 500g weight loss but more importantly, 4% body fat LOSS (which I worked out to be 8lbs) and 3kg muscle gain, resting metobolic rate has gone up to 1705 and visceral fat now 8, all improvements on last months weigh in, so all in all, a great result!

Oli told me that he would be switching up my workout for the next month, again to really switch on my glutes, an obsession of his that is starting to wear thin!! So, this month my reps have gone up and rest periods have been reduced to 30 seconds, ok good. Walking lunges are again playing a key part, now without holding weights, but I have to do more, they are to be coupled with TRX rows (15), something that I will substitute in my gym, I was to do 4 sets of these. The next exercise I found really hard work, body weight squats - down, up a little, back down then back up - make sense? These were so hard, and at this point I was close to tears, Oli was being particuarly tough on my form and making sure I wasn't bouncing or leaning forward as my legs were screaming to take it all through my quads. I was to do 15 of these, coupled with 15 press ups, again 4 sets.

The one thing that struck me was that even though the workout I had been doing was hardwork, it has started to get easier as this session hit me like a train! On paper this doesn't really look that hard, but I was only half way through and I had had enough, my legs had stopped functioning properly and mentally I was struggling, I think what affected me most was the reduction in rest time, something that I am really going to have to be strict with myself on when I workout on my own!

After a trip to the doctors later that day, it seems that any trips to the gym this week are not going to happen. What I thought was a coldsore developed on my nose over the weekend, and resulted in the entire right hand side of my face swelling up, to the point on Sunday night that my right eye was starting to close up and the right side of my nose around four times bigger than the left (I think Oli secretly thought that I had stayed in fancy dress from Halloween, I hadn't, I hate Halloween). The doctor told me that it was more likely to be Impegito, which meant I was contagious, just what you need when you live on your own!!

I don't have to look very far to realise that it could be so much worse, so I'm counting my chickens! I mention my friend Paul every now and again in my blog as he is also on a journey of his own. We often chat about our training and the results that we are seeing, Paul is training for Ironman next July, and has come a hell of a long way in the last year, literally transforming himself into a whole new person! Paul is also very commited when he trains, has a great attitude and pushes himself way further than any normal human being, so it was gutting to hear that he had somehow managed to break his wrist, lacerate his kidney and take a chunk out of his pelvis after a fall from a great height in the gym, he has been told recovery could be up to 12 weeks. Paul was due to compete in Toughmudder in a couple of weeks, his last race of the season, and he is gutted his season is over, but already has a plan in place to make a comeback in February, and is itching to get back on a static bike.

It's getting real

This past weekend was the first time that I visibly noticed such a difference in my weight loss. I knew that I had been working hard but as I see myself everyday seeing the changes in yourself can be hard.

Luckily I have a habit of taking photos of myself, usually when I have new clothes and I'm trying to make up my mind if I like them or not. When I was getting dressed on Sunday I picked out a dress that I hadn't worn for a while, I put it on and it looked different, I could actually see a waist! I remembered that I took a photo of myself in it when I first bought it, back in May, and I was shocked at the difference:

This has really spurred me on and given me confidence that what I am doing is really working. I need to understand that this is going to be a slow process, as it is a life style change, not a quick fix.

As well as the visual changes, I have noticed a massive difference in my performance when running. I have stuck to the agreement with Oli and am still running just once a week and this is just enough for me.

This week at running club we did an 'Out&Back' session, simply 15 minutes out and then turn around and beat your time back. I always used to be pretty rubbish at these and rarely enjoyed them as they are sessions where you need to push yourself. We did this session a few weeks ago and all together I ran 2.5 miles in 28:30, the point tonight was to beat yourself during the last session.

The route starts off at The Pump Rooms in Leamington and up The Parade, which is quite a long slow hill, a left and a right then onto the Rugby Road towards Warwick. We set off and both myself and my sister Helen were both in a bit of a grump and both with a headache so not in a mood at all for a challenging run. Helen is one of the leaders of Regency Runners, so is a pretty speedy runner with a 5k in the sub25 region, but at the moment is making her return to running after having a year off to have a baby, as it happens, with me getting quicker, we are both running at around the same pace, so we both had someone to push against.

The 15 minute run out felt really good, and I managed to get further than I ever had before (to the bridge, for any RR members that might be reading) which is 1.43 miles. We turned around and realised that we then had to run uphill again but we stuck together and kept the pace up. I have to be honest, had I been on my own I think I would have dropped back, but I wasn't sure if I was pacing Helen or if she was pacing me! The benefits of running up The Parade on the way out, hard as it is, is that you get to run down it on the way back, and to me, running down The Parade is ace fun, you can really build up some speed and carry that momentum on back to The Pump Rooms.

When we arrived back, I checked my watch and we had both done really well. For a hilly run, we ran 2.85miles in 29:45, so a huge improvement for me on the last outing and an even better one for Helen as she builds up her pace again. With my 5k race 2 weeks away, I'm getting confident that I may just get this sub30, and if not, then I know I'm going to be on for a huge race PB (my current one is 33:33).